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katharismós
wennaaa.bs
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Post A's Results
Thursday, March 6, 2014
decided to rant my feelings here after a long while. Got my results this monday, and it wasn't what i expected at all. you know the miracle that jumps your grades for O levels, i was secretly hoping for it to happen again for my A's. well for GP it did, but for the rest it was just plain disappointment. it made me think that effort does not necessarily equals to result. and i definitely felt that i worked hard for 2 years for nothing. it sucks to know that my choices for uni course are so limited and may not have job prospects, but i guess trying to get a local degree is still better than nothing right? so i was really upset and went home and cried, turned off my phone to cut myself from the world from all the busybodies who only cared on knowing how you did and sneering at you (at least i would think that), or just give insincere remarks attempting to make you feel a bit better when it translates to be sympathy which i dislike to the core. i'm not handicapped, why pity me. but of course, i'm only bitter for my results and i felt so happy for those who did well. not even kidding, i was ridiculously excited for them that their hard work has paid off and i was literally clapping so hard for them! congrats to all of you who did well, it was a proud moment to be able to celebrate with you :) after a few days of being at home and just trying to stay in reality (i often thought that was just a dream and i would wake up from it), good or bad results, life still moves on. there's still more to do than to grief and sulk over things. it was just a really hard period for me, usually people say that it's okay, just go and do your best in the interview. but recently, i've applied for a job at the zoo and i've been called back for reassessment and in the email, i've received some comments which were brutal because they assessed your personality too. like where do you get assessed for who you are? now, with no reassurance on the person that i am and that i cannot study academically, it was devastating and what can i lean back on now? yes a typical response is God. but how? he has broken my pride to rock bottom and left me feeling insecure. went to work ytd, and flo was talking to me about what i wanted to do in uni. she did say that even though she liked geography, she kept failing it and on the other hand, she didn't really liked sociology but she scored A for it most of the time. the last thing she told me was, "you may not be good at what you think you have interest in". so that made me think if it was a message from God that even though i've always inclined towards the business aspect, maybe it is something i may not be good at. i'll never know anyway. not sure where my future lies ahead of me, but i won't give up. well, at most study private. Posted by wen xin at 11:27 AM
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