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Wen Xin,
DMNCHOIR.
12S414, MJC.
UniSIM, Finance

“I may not be where I want to be but I'm thankful for not being where I used to be.” ― Habeeb Akande

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- Discovering my purpose.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalm 32:8
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wao.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015

What an intense work day it was. Super intense, with a huge pile of papers I had to key into the computer (it was at least 300 no kidding). The entire process took me 5 hours to complete, and I had to neglect my incoming mails to do till the last hour and I totally chionged through right till the last minute. Packed my bag, then left work straight away. I must say I was pretty proud of myself, completing that huge ass stack of stuff so quickly and the staff complimented me how quick I finished it (hur hur). But as I was leaving office thinking about my day, I noticed something about myself.

I pride myself in my efficiency. Like today was actually the FIRST day when I didn't finish everything I needed to, and it disturbs me so much btw haha. Especially when it comes to work, my head is like a drill sergeant commanding my limbs to "Go faster faster!" That's how efficiency becomes the top on my list of working ethics. Well, whether it's good quality is another thing, given how I'm a little clumsy and blur at times hahaha.

I hope that efficiency doesn't command too much of my life, that one day I'll have no time for people because I find that it's not time efficient to meet you (like some church people do oops I shall not name names here). Or that I can't even have a slow and proper conversation with you, because I have no time and we end up having superficial talks. Even how I walk is so quick, that I have to stop and ask myself "Why am I walking so fast? I'm also not rushing for anything." then I'll slow my footsteps. Pretty scary, I feel. Perhaps part of the working culture in Singapore, where efficiency is key indeed and the stress is screaming from our footsteps and strides. Kind of sad that we can't even have a moment to quieten our hearts since because we need that peace and calmness to be able to hear the voice of God. A cluttered mind brings about an uneasy heart.

The night sessions of camp WWJD were pretty amazing. It was so wonderful to see young people dedicating their lives FULL OUT to the work of God's kingdom, and I believe with all my heart that this is just the beginning of it all. This was when I had a quiet moment with the Lord, after that period of battling through so much rubbish inside of me. God spoke to me that I'm going through a season of trust, it's where I don't know where on earth I'm going, but would you just put your trust in me? It's hard to grasp that. Obviously, who wants to just be left hanging aimless and lost? I also didn't understand certain things said to me as I was being prayed for, but I suppose the Lord heard the cries of my heart. Not too sure where to go from here, but I'll keep praying and hoping for a breakthrough.

On a side note, JORDAN SMITH WON THE VOICE SEASON 9 YESSSSS. Absolutely well deserved, a voice of an angel and my favourite from the very beginning. You HAVE to check out his rendition of 'Somebody to love' by Queen in the semifinals. It's crazy good, I never thought anyone could match up to Freddie's vocals. Amazing.


On another side note, exam results come out tomorrow. Gasp, I can only pray for the best while I wait for the text message to be sent to my phone. Nerve-wrecking, hoping it'll go well!

Posted by wen xin at 6:30 PM