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Wen Xin,
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“I may not be where I want to be but I'm thankful for not being where I used to be.” ― Habeeb Akande

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Getting Ahead
- Discovering my purpose.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalm 32:8
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Monday, October 31, 2016

The moment we are born, our expiry date countdown begins. Except, we don't have a clue when it'll be. Lives are short, "What can you really do in 70-80 years?" one might ask. Am I able to change the world? Impact the nation? Change lives? If we're lucky, maybe we could live our lives being satisfied (probably one of the hardest things, since we're such greedy creatures).

Or maybe just like any plot, we all wish to be the protagonist of the story minus the hubris that leads to their ultimate downfall: Hamartia. What does my life represent, do I believe my hands are able to do more than I see it? My thoughts, are they merely foolish thinking or the stepping stone of a greater vision? How far will my legs be able to carry me - at least one round around the world please? I hope that as life hits me slowly and adulthood creeps nearer and nearer, though it may take away my identity, I pray it'll never take away my imagination - the ability to dream, to know that I can be someone greater than who I really am. Definitely feeling the pressure of finding an internship. 3 months. No reply. 1 month left. Lord, help.

Just penning down random thoughts right now. It's kinda messy, a bit dark but it depicts a little of the situation I'm in right now. This time will pass, I'm sure. People tell me that too but I need something more. Support. Care. Love. I quote from Michael Jackson's 'Will You Be There'

"Hold Me
Like the River Jordan
And I will say to thee
You are my friend

Carry Me
Like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there?

Weary
Tell me will you hold me
When wrong, will you scold me
When lost will you find me?"

It's been an agonizing past month, the uncertainty is killing me slowly. I guess that's how the characters in the Bible must've felt huh. The same kind of hopelessness when God doesn't seem to appear, the waiting that seems to last forever. The feeling is like a small boat afloat on the sea, moving as the waves come by, pushing you to different places. You may get a magnificent view of the big blue sky, the white fluffy clouds slowly floating across the vast sky one day. Another day, your view could be obstructed with the dark skies, stormy seas that bring you to rocky areas. But at all times, Jesus is the navigator of the boat. He directs us to places, and He still brings you to see His (not our) world. Only whether we choose to accept both the good times and bad times. If we reject the dark times in our lives, what then do we see?  We would've failed to admire the places He's brought us to.

Never thought I'll post this emo rambles of mine, but here it goes. Here's to a new month, and exams for 2016.
Posted by wen xin at 9:48 PM